I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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