Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
