Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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