I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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