I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
