I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
