I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
