I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
All the doctor said was why
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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