Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
