She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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