im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
