I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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