Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
