Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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