No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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