U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
