You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
