Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
