Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
