I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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