that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Boobs speak an international language.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
