Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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