remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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