Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
