I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
