We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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