you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize