Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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