the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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