thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
