I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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