i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
