Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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