i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sorry my hands just texted you
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
