We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
