TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
