you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
