i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
