you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
