I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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