And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize