He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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