I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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