you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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