At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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