he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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