I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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