I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
