would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
