and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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