I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
