my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
