I'm really into asian looking animals
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
