what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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