Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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