I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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