What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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