your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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