I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
