im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
