I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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