its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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