I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
