It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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