I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize