Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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